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Fear not the election meddlers, the bots, trolls or fake news. Cower before the almighty & powerful BOWL CUT


Горшок или стрижка “под горшок” – крайне простая и распространённая короткая стрижка.  Челку выстригают прямой, а остальные волосы подстригаются одной длины по всему периметру головы или обрезается по бокам и сзади. Название стрижке даёт её возможное происхождение – волосы выглядят так, будто на голову надевался горшок, а все торчащие из-под него волосы обрезались. Стрижка “под горшок” часто встречается у детей из-за её дешевизны и простоты в уходе.

Однако в 2018 году разрез чаши – это призыв к оружию; знак власти и господства. Корона, подходящая для короля воина.

Re: The Bowl Cut

Historically, the bowl haircut was popular among common people of various nationalities as an easy and relatively neat cut by a non-professional.  In other cultures the bowl cut was viewed as an attribute of poverty, signifying that the wearer could not afford to visit a barber.

However, in 2018, the bowl cut is a call to arms; a sign of power and dominance. A crown suitable for a warrior king.


We are (troll) Farmers! Bum ba-dum bum bum bum!

Picture this: you and your fellow comrades in the beautiful lake town of О́льгино, sipping ice cold Klinskoye Svetloe, inciting race wars on Twitter and commiserating about the soy intake of your Canadian counterparts. It really doesn’t get any better than this! BONUS: When you work 90 consecutive, 14 hours days, will microbus you to the exotic beach town of Pattaya, Thailand where you can fist fight with Australians and accidently suffocate a prostitute!

Our Team

“They have a lot of very smart and important people working for them and they all have bowl cuts.” – Winn Schwartau

Think you have what it takes to sit in an air conditioned room for 14 hours a day, trolling social media while drinking Jaguar? Then reach out to a hiring manager today!


From converting our employee’s EBT cards to BTC (signing their checks) to making sure our mission statement (primum non nocere) is upheld everyday, these are the cattle herders that make it all happen.
Crikeys Rexu

Crikeys Rexu

Chief Patent Holder

Mate Haragigi

Mate Haragigi

President of Threats

Ted Gummy

Ted Gummy

Chief Social Change Officer

Rolf Laggin

Rolf Laggin

SR VP Fundraising

Jiff Mess

Jiff Mess

Master of Ceremonies

Lemur Freed

Lemur Freed

Secretary / Stewardess

Who said dat?!

[] had one account called “BOWLCUTSEC” It had a Twitter account, an Instagram account, multiple Facebook accounts and its own website. … BOWLCUTSEC had a puerile sense of humor and only a rudimentary grasp of the English language.
- Robert Mueller's 2018 Federal Indictment


59°59′03.5″N 30°16′19.1″E

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